Turning To NFL Total Offensive And Defensive Rankings

By Olivia Cross


What is the die-hard NFL football fan supposed to do during the agonizing months in between February and August. February brings with it the awesome Super Bowl, followed by the super crash the following week, when it finally sinks in that there isn't a game on Sunday. There won't be a game for lots of Sundays. Well, there are last year's statistics to pour over, among them the NFL total offensive and defensive rankings.

There will still be football apps to download, both for the tablet computer and the smartphone. Remember last year when you promised yourself you would learn all the names of the players on all the squads in your local division? You've got six months.

For most of February, it may still be possible to find people on the discussion forums. Yes, there are still stones left to be unturned on Inflatagate. Why doesn't the NFL supply the balls to everybody on both teams? Are they going broke? That opens up a whole new world on the discussion groups - conspiracy theories.

By March, the withdrawal symptoms should be dampening off but they won't be completely gone. It depends on how many reruns of "Game of Thrones" you can tolerate at any one time. Learn a new language, like Formula One. The first race of the season usually takes place in March in some strange country where you can never figure out if they are "n" hours ahead or behind your local time zone. Hey, just working that out should eat up some desperate, football-free hours.

April. Too soon for barbecues, too late for the football forums. Some NFL fans, apparently, have lives. You should probably try and get one of those for yourself. In the meantime, there is Easter, and a back yard that needs tidying up. On rainy days, you can start work on that spreadsheet you threaten to set up every year to monitor statistics just the way you want them.

Then comes May. May is a terrible month. The glory days of last season have long faded, and it is way too soon to start getting excited about the start of the new season. Keep the vegetable garden maintained. Test the new spreadsheets.

June is starting to look promising. Your spreadsheet is halfway full of data, the front lawn is so closely mown you could bounce a quarter off it. You may even find one or two fans in Indonesia or Qatar on the discussion forums. No, wait, they had football confused with soccer, like three quarters of the rest of the planet.

July and August bring the warm, summer months. Time for barbecues, vacations and disentangling the Christmas lights. That spreadsheet was starting to feel like a chore, anyway. You've got tickets for a home game in October. Your biggest problem is deciding whether to buy the sweatshirt, team flag and other paraphernalia ahead of the game, or purchase it at the ground as part of the whole seeing-the-game-in-person experience. Sunday afternoons and Monday nights have meaning again!




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